13 Kewlest Kills, #1
#1: Let’s Go, Pinocchio in A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
Blonde heroine Kristen (a pre-fame Patricia Arquette) finds herself in a mental ward, which just happens to be filled with teens who are descendants of the adults who murdered Freddy years back. They are the “last of the Elm Street children” and baby, Freddy’s cleaning house!
This and part four have the most creative kills of the entire horror genre. But my favorite is in part three, and it involves puppets. Are you with me?
Teen and chronic sleepwalker Phillip loves to make puppets and marionettes. Sure, what better hobby for someone in the loony bin than one requiring toxic glue, sharp things, and wire?
So Phillip falls asleep and Freddy visits. First, a clay puppet’s face melts into a visage of Freddy through awesome stop-motion animation that still kicks butt today.
And here’s why Freddy deserves the title of Kewlest Killer of all time: he doesn’t just shoot or stab his victims or something lame like that. Oh, no. He picks each death special, to prey on the victim’s fear and weaknesses.
Phillip lies helpless while Freddy manipulates him like a marionette. How? Did Freddy tie strings onto Phillip? No way! Freddy rips out the veins in the kid’s arms and legs to use as strings. Wicked!
Freddy pulls Phillip along by the ‘strings’ and right out the window, where the evil, misunderstanding adults assume he jumped.
Poor Phillip. But what a great kill! This definitely deserves the #1 spot. Congratulations, Freddy. May your creativity never wane.
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